So, what is the purpose of this blog? GREAT question. That’s something I’ve decided to figure out as we go. I’ve always had a lot to say and a lot to share and an unknown place and time to do so. Maybe this is the only thing I post.. maybe I carry this on throughout the rest of my life.. who knows.
First lets back up. So who am? Well, reporting from corporate America in the heart of the city. I’m a passionate and stubborn individual with a love of music and doodling (I’m not good, don’t ask to see anything). I have a love for fitness and cook up a storm using my roommates as guinea pigs for new, healthy, recipes. I’m loud and outgoing, originally from the South and use that as an excuse to fit in some fried chicken and maybe a little bit of an accent sometimes.
So.. what brings me here? Why start this? What the hell do I have to share? The way I see it we’re all lost and trying to figure it out, and if you’re sitting there shaking your head and disagreeing with me you’re lying. Every second of every day holds a whole lot of unknowns, and I use to be the kind of person who would anticipate what each one would be. About a year and a half ago my life took a turn on a series of what I thought were unfortunate events (funny how things always seem bigger when they happen).
The first of which is when the word cancer came across my lap. My dad has got to be one of the best men I know. He works hard, he loves my sisters and I to no end, still makes time to take my mom on date nights and spoil her, and is the cutest/goofiest nerd on the face of the planet. When someone you look up to so much calls you and says “I have polyps in my stomach, and well kiddo.. looks like they may be cancer” your entire world shatters. Its like these little minions have invaded your safe haven and the one man who had always proved to be the strongest man you know, has been attacked. Long story short, they were able to do a simple surgery to remove all of the effected tissue and through a series of follow ups and drug remedies there hasn’t been any sort of relapse (PHEW). This was the first time I realized, I have ONE life. ONE chance. This was the beginning of a huge change in me.
Now slowly, but surely, I tried to figure out what I wanted in life. The problem was what I seemed to come up with was this cookie cutter American Dream kind of thing; corporate job with a ladder to climb, perfect boyfriend with a fairy tale story of high school best friends turned to love, always smiling and loving life, the model of perfection (or so I thought). I was on track for it all too. Luckiest girl in the world, right? Negatory (I make up words - embrace it).
A year ago the unthinkable and worst thing possible happened - HE BROKE UP WITH ME. Cue the bitter and angry commentary and bitching about how awful he is. Wait.. pause.. rewind.. lets start over.
A year ago the best thing that could happen to me finally did - My best friend let me go. He looked me in the eye and said “This isn’t working.” And to me that didn’t just mean the relationship, it meant everything I had tried to push myself to be - that cookie cutter image that I was trying to portray WASN’T working. I was drowning and couldn’t even see it. I lost everything I stood for and tried to make myself be this picture of what I thought I was “supposed” to be. It took taking a step back to see that I didn’t even know who I was anymore. It was a kick in the ass and a reality check. Life isn’t supposed to be perfect; in fact that’s the sheer beauty of it!
So what now? Well, within two weeks I had decided to pick up and move to the city, put a transfer in at my job, found roommates, signed a lease, and I was on my way. I didn’t quite know where I was going or what I was doing, but I knew that my small town wasn’t going to help me figure it out. A little impulsive? Maybe, but it turns out it was a great move for me. That cookie cutter image? Shattered and man am I thankful for that. It’s been a crazy ride since moving and I’m not saying that someday I still don’t want that great guy with a few kids, not so much a picket fence but maybe a porch. I do. I think we all do in some sense. I AM saying that I don’t know what’s going to happen today, tomorrow, ever. That use to scare me, now? It’s exciting.
My life - NUTS. I’m living out my wildest dreams and taking no prisoners. Nights out in the city - bottle service, awkward guys, running into the best and worst of old flames, broken shoes and pictures you never want to ever see the light of day. Figuring out this whole dating deal (WOOF!), and laughing at the ridiculous stories they make. Falling in love with fitness and healthy living. Owning my career and taking the corporate world by storm. Finding out what I want to be when I grow up. Living with three crazy girls who make my every day pretty wonderful. Making mistakes, learning and growing into someone I’m pretty proud of. Turns out, I’m pretty good at falling flat on my ass and laughing about it.
So back to the purpose. What is the purpose of this blog? STILL I don’t have an answer for you. All I know is I’m a twenty something girl just trying to figure it out. I’m pretty open about my downfalls and faults and man do I get myself into some hilarious situations. The only difference? I’m willing to write about it.